Once Upon A Boss

I know a man, a boss
He loves to say, "Hurry up, quicker"
Have you finished EVERYTHING?
Well, why didn't you, you are so overpaid, you are so lazy, how will I pay your salary?
In December, he faults you for not remembering what happened in January, even though records are kept for that purpose.
He can't believe you made a mistake; he can't believe you are not perfect.
He caught you tired once and having a nap...that means he caught you in a deep slumber. You sleep everyday at work!
He doesn’t understand your need to have breaks; that could break the BUSINESS.
He doesn't understand why you will not give your SOUL to the job.
You want to go home, so early ...At 7pm?
You ought to share in the rent because you spend so much time here. That goes for all the other bills too!
Will you be here on Sunday...church? Forget about church...the BUSINESS is more important!
Salary? Is that all you think about? ...You are not concentrating on the BUSINESS.
You are sick? Come on, you are just being lazy! Who will take care of the BUSINESS?
What do you need a weekend break for? That's for lazy folks!
Christmas break? Don't you know that that’s when the job gets exciting, more BUSINESS?
A loan? Do you think I am a bank! I am not making as much money as you think!
Some allowance for the job? So much for your loyalty...can't you make sacrifices?
Of course I know you have been with me for 10 years, but I told you five years ago I was thinking about your raise, so please be patient!
How come the sales are dropping...I mean, they just INCREASED a little!
What do you mean the business couldn’t borrow from you? ...it pays you!
Working like a donkey is not as bad as people try to make it...there is a donkey dignity in labour.
Go buy me the things I need, as fast as possible and please go as far away as possible ok... Here they charge too much...be fast about it but go far please!
You have been sitting all day. You need to exercise more...please, go buy me some lunch!
Someday, you will own a car...why not practice on how to change tyres now...please, help me change my car's.
What do we need a cleaner for...aren't you a godly person ...cleanliness, is next to godliness. You ought to practice more godliness!
You need a smarter look ok, people don't have to know you earn so low. You must learn to protect your secret.
You eat too much! Isn’t this your second meal since morning... it's just 8pm!
Why do you need 3 days to finish a job that takes Just 24hours.Aren’t there 24 hours in a day?

I actually know a man, who thinks and talks this way.I just thought to convert the negative vibes to a more humorous one.This character represents most bosses, but not all.
Currently, I have the most benign bosses in the world, here at systemplus---Alfred.