Twilight Zone
My strength failing
I clutch for support as I sink through the emptiness of air
Floor's indifference takes my fall and offers me pain
My breath escapes like a cat fleeing a burning building
In my skull, silence explodes!
I strain my ear to pick up the sound of concern
But activity has no time for me
I seek a voice to state my case
But my vocal chord strangles my cause
All these gets filed away in my memory
Which is already an overflowing archive of pain and hurt
I lie befuddled as everyone walks and talks
My prostrate form becoming a pipe through which resentment and bitterness course
I grumble that my life is a sweaty and screaming nightmare
Light fades as my thoughts take a walk on the shadowed track of despair
I lose my footing...on reason...on joy
Depression ambushes and coshes my head
I fall unconscious: coldness and numbness blanketing me
Happiness is not cold enough to revive me
I wake up later and unwind memories reel
I make a movie screen out of air
It ripples with images of the past
And reflects grotesque shadows of the future
My vision is so clouded
It's rainy season in my head
To control the flood, I grab a pen and write
Punctuating each line with a sigh
My bones are rickety furniture
They bear my weight with complaining creaks
In a crowded world
I manage to feel alone
Caged by fears, released by tears
I muse that if it was up to me, I wouldn't live
I would decide that it was easier to just leave
There are those who have it better
And those who have it worse
Neither better nor worse
I stand in twilight zone
posted by Vessel of Mercy at
7:01 PM
2 Comments:
Emotional, indeed.
I think of what you wrote to me about your liking for metaphor. I don't know if you read my post on Cemetery of Mind. Marechera pointed out a problem with metaphor/the objective correlative: sometimes there are no metaphors for certain feelings.
Ted Hughes wrote a famous essay called "Does Northtown need poetry?" in which he argued for
organic metaphors/metaphor as a mode of thinking. He was unconsciously taking against the objective correlative too: metaphor has to be the emotion not just stand for it. Sometimes, for me, there are two many metaphors in this poem and they stand in for what you want to say. You pointed out to me that you did not like Western contemporary poetry because it was unmetaphorical. But I could send you 100 contemporary Western poems just like yours. Finding a language for extreme emotion is really difficult--OGN once posted about poetry and emotional sharpness--not that he would know about that if it stabbed him! Such things are easy to talk about and hard to do. You are brave to attempt it.
Hello Eshu,
Nice to see you here and have you comment on my newest poem. I've been itching to hear something said about it.
For me, metaphor, is a very powerful tool of expression in poetry. It accentuates the emotion being described.It's strength lies in it's ability to turn words into pictures. Pictures are more memorable and appealing than words. If a bunch of words dont evoke an image, they confuse the mind.
I think there are metaphors for every feeling or experience if you searched and observed long and hard enough. Metaphors are parallels.
Hope to see you back again soon.
God bless you,
Alfred
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