Grey Emotion

There are times when what you feel couldn’t be classed simply into a category of strong and weak emotions. In these times the feeling is an even mix of both extremities: neither a giddy joy nor sinking sadness: A plateau rather than a towering mountain or a depressed valley; Just an interplay that produces a bittersweet mixture.
I love to be happy and hate to be sad. But experience tells me that both emotional states can and do have a meeting point where none claims any dominance. Like when cold and heat level to form a lukewarm state.

Sadness is not the most sought after and appreciated emotion yet it is inescapable in this mortal realm. It is inextricably woven by fate into man’s experiences.
The pull of sadness on man is as strong as the gravity that keeps him from levitating: very strong. Once in an odd while, man breaks free from it’s clutches, and flies off in erratic motions like a butterfly.

Something indefinable is terribly wrong with this world we call our home. A baby’s first contact with it produces a distressing reaction: piercing screams and agitated gestures. The family, already hardened to its condition finds it funny to watch the puny baby’s violent response.

The one place in which God prepared for man’s habitation is Earth but it is also the place most hostile to him. In it he finds his diseases, pollution, wars, hunger, natural disasters and finally his end: death.

Recently, the newspaper headlines had screaming announcements about an earthquake in the Indonesian Island of Java. Thousands of people got entombed in Earth’s gluttonous bowel. Buildings got flattened to rubbles. The papers had high resolution images of survivors weeping and looking mournful.

The dead lay tranquil and docile, in the midst of the disaster. The living walked around weeping sad tears and expressing mad fears about the future.
Then the question jumped into my mind: who, in this picture, is the loser, the resting dead or the fretting living?

At the point of death, everything stops dead in their tracks. All the suffering, strife, worries, struggles comes to a permanent halt. Humans walk around complaining about life’s ever-present woes, yet death is never a welcome relief. They know that they are destined for this great appointment yet it never meets them prepared.

Christians view death very differently. They know and understand that it is a servant of their father; their God. This knowledge takes them out of the grip of worries about its whims and caprices. They believe that they have received Eternal life, so their death in Time is their commencement of Life in Eternity.

I read the Bible and learn that I have preexisted in the mind of God. But what I was then is not what I am now. I am a god because I am a Son of God. Same genetics. Like all men made from dust, I shall die and my flesh will rot, but I will not miss it: for in it I had my tempestuous temptations, debilitating weaknesses, burdensome afflictions, nagging insatiability etc
So it was really a nuisance more than anything.